doubting thom

I forgot to note some of the changes that have been taking place here at work. I’ve alluded to a new boss, though she’s really the previous manager for this section, but took a year’s sabbatical to complete her doctorate. Since I only joined this agency last August, I hadn’t worked with her before.

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Oh, it was so hard to get up this morning. Between the time change, the general lack of sleep, the current weather (cold and rainy), the car problems, and the environment at work, I just wanted to stay in bed. I so wanted to call in sick to work, but my sense of responsibility took over, and I dragged my elfin ass out of bed anyway.
Last night offered some wonderful reconnections. After getting my letter from Dar, I bopped over to LiveJournal, where she maintains her online journal. Once there, I came across the journals for both her partner Anna, and a former roommate of theirs and another friend of mine from the early 90s, Vicka. I’ve posted a “hello, I’m still alive” comment to Vicka’s journal, and already heard back from her last night; Dar and I exchanged a couple of emails setting up the LiveJournal account; and I’m going to post to Anna today. The three of them were part of what I considered my earliest Internet-based tribe, and it’s great to re-establish contact.

I was so pleased to get an email today (well, some of the news itself wasn’t pleasing, but hearing from her was) from Dar in Seattle, with the latest going on in her life. First met Dar and Anna online, ooh, way back in 1991, I think, as a result of the Elfinkind Digest Dar spearheaded, and then in person a year later, at a Baitcon in the Catskills. I try to stop in to see them whenever I’m in Seattle, which isn’t often enough.

A few weeks ago, before I revived this journal, I had problems with my car, a Saab convertible. The car had begun to make a strange noise when first being started–a loud, high whirring noise, that would rapidly cycle down in both pitch and strength. Then, on the way home from work one day, the oil light and check engine lights both came on. I called the dealer and they told me to bring it in the next morning.
This had happened last summer as well–one month after the warranty ran out, of course–at which time I took it to the dealer and they told me that my oil had turned to sludge. At the time, they removed and cleaned part of the engine, and charged me $600, and told me it was all taken care of.

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The Miami Herald reports that one army chaplain in Iraq controls a 500-gallon pool of water, and won’t allow soldiers to have access to it, during the water shortage the troops are experiencing, unless they agree to be baptized, and listen to an hour-and-a-half sermon and then another hour of bible quotes during the baptism itself.
” ‘You have to be aggressive to help people find themselves in God,’ he said.”
“He calls himself a ‘Southern Baptist evangelist,’ and justifies the war and killing with a verse from the Gospel of Matthew, which he often recites: ‘Give unto Caesar the things that are Caesar’s and unto God the things that are God’s.’ ”
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It’s too bad he’s a Baptist and has to immerse them… he could “aggressively help” so many more souls toward salvation if he would just take a water pistol around the camp and spritz anyone who looked unsaved.

Ok, I think I’m definitely infatuated with Matt, my latest online, um, infatuation. Yes, that’s circular. It’s late. I’m tired.
If I log into There and he’s not online, I feel letdown. When I get the little message flashing in my client “Your buddy Toadstool has logged in,” I get a little frisson of excitement. I end phone calls with him smiling and laughing. When I learned his full name, I googled him, and found his poetry–all of which I read–and photos (and he’s not only thoughtful, intelligent and funny, he’s cute!).

Roger and I had a nice time today chatting. I was telling him about the Enneagram, which he didn’t know of, and he took the free short sample test available on the Enneagram Institute’s home page.
He turned out, most likely, to be a Five (his scores were all very close; I think he may need to take the longer test, though I had guessed beforehand that he likely was a Five, and he agreed that the descriptions seemed relevant). I, as I mention elsewhere on my web site, am a strong Four, with a Five wing.
One thing I hadn’t seen before, though, was the listings of how the 45 different pairings might play out. It was very interesting to look at the way that he and I interact as a Four/Five pairing, and to look at how some of my romantic relationships in the past have fit much of the patterns and behaviors described here.
I’m also guessing that Matt is a Four, like me; I’ll ask him later if he knows anything about the Enneagram. Four/four pairings have potentially great promise, though they can also go horribly wrong. Of course.
Roger and I also then spent some time together in TSO, which was very nice. There is wonderful, but still lacks some of the two-person interactions available in TSO, like the various dances and romantic/social interactions (hugs, kisses, backrubs, etc.). We then relaxed in the virtual hot tub, and mused over the wonderful times we’ve had there in our park-home in TSO, but how it may be time for things there to change, and that we’re ok with that. It wasn’t even as bittersweet as I thought it might be; whatever the downside of TSO has been, it at least brought me great friends like Roger and Raymond and Nathan and, yes, even Daniel and Josh. For that, at least, I’ll always be appreciative of what Maxis and EA have created.

Made some behind-the-scenes programmatic changes to the non-journal portion of my website, cleaned up some broken and/or moved links, and updated a few pages.
Today’s going by much too fast. Weekends are just too short. Given that I didn’t get up today until 1 pm, now that it’s already nearly 5:30, I’m starting to stress about the few remaining hours of freedom and the coming work week. I told myself when I took this job that I wouldn’t let it get to me like that; making half of what I did at my previous job, it doesn’t feel like I’m being paid enough to let the job affect my life after 5 pm and on weekends. But the current environment there, and my new boss’s temperament, are starting to create some anxiety that lingers into the weekend and begins again much too early on Sunday afternoon.

Yesterday was another up and down day. I spent some time in TSO, which was bittersweet. Roger and I each have two TSO accounts, which was great back when we were playing it regularly, and during the initial free months. Now that we’re into the period of being charged, though, and aren’t there nearly as much (and me almost not at all), it just doesn’t make sense to keep both accounts.

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I first saw the Friday Five at T. Kevin’s Synaptic Discharge site. This will be the first one I’ve completed:
1. How many houses/apartments have you lived in throughout your life?
Whew… several years ago I used to joke that I would have to buy all my friends new “W” pages for their address books, because I’d had so many addresses. There was the apartment we lived in until I was two, at which point we moved into the house my parents built, where I lived until I was 18 and where they still reside. During my college years, I lived in six places, if I count dorm rooms, and one if I don’t. After college, I lived in two group houses in Somerville, and two different apartments in the Fens. And since moving to the DC area in 1987, I’ve lived in two townhouses in Alexandria, one apartment in Dupont Circle, and four townhouses and apartments in Arlington before finally buying my condo six years ago. So, that totals fifteen without counting dorm rooms, and twenty with.
2. Which was your favorite and why?
In 1993 and 1994, I lived in a three-story house in the Cherrydale section of Arlington, with my friends Sheldon and Lisa, and my partner-at-the-time Jay. I loved living there primarily because of the family-like environment we two couples created, and the great parties we hosted there, and the open layout of the space.
I also like my current condo, because it’s mine, it’s cozy, and I feel like I have the best spot in the building… on the back overlooking the pool and courtyard, high enough to feel secure and to have a bit of a view, but low enough not to get the street noise from Columbia Pike.
3. Do you find moving house more exciting or stressful? Why?
Both. It’s always cool to put stuff in a new home, to have a blank canvas to work with. But packing up the old house, and the actual moving, are very stressful. Invariably something precious or valuable gets broken, tempers can fray, and it’s just exhausting. And, at this point in my life, I just find it painful to imagine how expensive and difficult my next move will be… considering how much time and effort it took to move into my condo, before I had bought the dining room set, buffet, china cabinet, queen-sized futon, wide-screen TV, patio furniture, etc.
4. What’s more important, location or price?
My initial reaction was to say “location.” But when I bought my condo, I traded the cachet of north Arlington, where I had been living and thought I wanted to continue living, for a cheaper mortgage and larger space in south Arlington, so price played a factor. Although, come to think of it, location did as well, since I had several friends already living in the building, and it was convenient to so many things.
5. What features does your dream house have (pool, spa bath, big yard, etc.)?
My dream house is a contemporary or mid-century modern (a la Eichler, Rummer or Charles Goodman’s Hollin Hills in Alexandria, Virginia), with walls of floor-to-ceiling windows and large open interior spaces. It would be in a private, wooded setting, and ideally would have an interior courtyard, with water and trees. It would be high-tech to the hilt, and have a media room and library. A fireplace would be nice, as would a secluded outdoor spa (so I wouldn’t have to wear a pesky bathing suit). Alternatively, my dream house might be a Gothic or Tudor chateau with huge gardens and lots of land, with many secret passages and dark wooden and plush velvet furniture. Or a houseboat or converted church. Or a loft.
Oh, and a cute, witty, smart guy, deeply in love with me, and who shares the elegantly simply, natural cherry, Thos. Moser four-poster bed would be an ideal accessory.