Adding fuel to my theory that Thoms-with-an-h are almost invariably gay, the list of bios for the “cultural experts,” the “Fab Five” queer men (as noted on Gothamist) participating in the upcoming Bravo TV reality show Queer Eye for the Straight Guy includes a Thom–along with a Kyan, a Carson, a Jai and a… Ted. Ted? What kind of homo name is that? Seems to me that one of the “Fab Five” needs a nameover. Maybe give that uninspiring “e”–which after all appears three times in the words “heterosexual” and “breeder”–a stylish little circumflex: Têd. Even the word “circumflex” has such a homoerotic ring, don’t you think, containing within it both cum and flex?