In today’s “well, duh!” moment, Britney Spears admitted that despite her repeated claims over the years that she would wait until marriage to have sex, she actually lost her virginity several years ago to ex-boyfriend Justin Timberlake.

In a related story, though it’s the American people who were screwed this time, the Bush administration also acknowledged “that President Bush should not have alleged in his State of the Union address in January that Iraq had sought to buy uranium in Africa to reconstitute its nuclear weapons program.”