top stories from today’s new york times, chortler-style

The Chortler offers a summary of top stories from today’s New York Times, as told “by the latest addition to our staff, Jayson Blair.”

From the National desk:

Bush Flies Air Force One By Himself
President George W. Bush flew Air Force One over to Iraq by himself to deliver three separate aid missions. Yeah, that’s right, I saw it myself, dude, with my own eyes.

Very funny, from the paper that brought you today’s news translated into Canadian, the Bush dictionary, and “How to Hide a Vice President,” among many others.