For those who don’t know–though even those not specifically familiar with its origin probably understand “Bizarro World” in its context within contemporary vernacular–in DC Comics’ Superman title, Bizarro was an imperfect–and near-opposite–duplicate of Superman. Eventually Bizarro Superman relocated to a cube-shaped planet–Bizarro World–where a population of bizarre-looking Bizarro Superman and Bizarro Lois Lane clones lived in a deliberate attempt to refute everything of Earth: on Bizarro World, everyone speaks ungrammatically, and the Bizarro code states that:
Us do opposite of all Earthly things!
Us hate beauty!
Us love ugliness!
Is big crime to make anything perfect on BIZARRO WORLD!
But given today’s news that Dubya and Blair have been nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize [Reuters] for their war in Iraq, I’m wondering if I’ve somehow been transported to a real Bizarro World.
Jan Simonsen, described as “a right-wing independent in Norway’s parliament,” nominated Bush and Blair, stating: “Sometimes it’s necessary to use a small and effective war to prevent a much more dangerous war in the future. If nobody acted then Saddam Hussein could have produced weapons of mass destruction and, in five or 10 years, could have used them against Israel.”
Could have produced… COULD HAVE PRODUCED?! I thought the whole reason we were given for going in was because Dubya told us Saddam already had them. (Not that anyone buys that any more, nor seems to care that we were lied to. And it doesn’t matter that the war was “successful” anyway, it still remains that we were taken into it under false pretense–the weapons were never really the issue; we were lied to and continue to be lied to by Dubya.)
Ya know, though… in five or 10 years, Canada could produce weapons of mass destruction… or England… or <gasp> the FRENCH! Better invade ’em all now!
Me am Bizarro Dubya. Me do opposite of all intelligent, logical things.
Us hate freedom!
Us love threats and fear!
War am peace!
Free speech am treason!
Restraint on liberty am Patriot Act!
Saddam am bin Laden!
Looting am protection!
Anniversary of 9/11 am opprtunity for Republican campaign stunt!
69,000 lost jobs every month am fiscal conservatism!
No weapons of mass destruction am reason for war!
Us give tax benefits to rich people; us make middle-class people pay more in taxes!
Us put money in worker pockets when them lose pay when me use factory for photo op!
Ship turnaround and come home slower so us fly jet to get to it quicker for campaign stunt!
Bizarro Thom am happy and proud to live in country of insanity, suspicion and broken promises.
But regular Thom is weeping in frustration and despair at his country’s loss of decency, perspective and integrity.