building El Dorado: a decade of love fuels my drive to achieve marriage equality

An edited version of this piece appeared in the June 13, 2013 edition of the SF Bay Times. Next week is our anniversary. That is, one of our anniversaries. I’ve joked that one of the rare upsides to the lack of marriage equality is that unlike our opposite-sex counterparts, for whom the wedding anniversary is […]

the path to marriage equality: what a difference a year – and a president – makes

At its best, the Court could read the same tea leaves and affirm once and for all that the U.S. constitution protects the freedom to marry for all Americans, right now, and regardless of where they live, just as it did in 1967 for interracial couples. But even at its worst, while the Court could slow the pace of freedom a little, it can neither stop nor reverse it. That horse already has left the barn. And it’s pulling a white wedding carriage all the way down to City Hall.

coming out for good: winning marriage equality in Rhode Island and beyond

It turns out that being open, honest and out of the closet – telling our stories, in our own words, to the people already in our lives – are among the very best tools we have to ensure our equality. Now that’s a “lifestyle” worth promoting.

“not getting married today”

On Sunday, Jeff and I took our tuxedos out of the closet and out of their dry cleaning bags, to let them air out. You see, we had planned to marry each other tonight. But our marriage won’t take place today. We had planned to marry each other last Thursday. But our marriage didn’t take […]

yet another opinion from Andrew Sullivan I could do without

Andrew Sullivan today wrote that California’s Prop. 8 “should stand, and the court should decline to reverse it. We lost. They won in a fair fight. No whining.” First of all, “we” lost? Sullivan doesn’t live or vote in California. He didn’t contribute may not have contributed (ed.: as Jeff S. comments, the donor database […]

“it was a great feeling, while it lasted”

I was really moved by Keith Olbermann’s “Special Comment” in regards to same-sex marriage and California’s Prop. 8 earlier this week, and several straight friends wrote to tell me about it as well. Here it is, if you haven’t seen it already. I was similarly touched by Judith Warner’s most recent New York Times column, […]

the republic, for which it misunderstands

I’d been planning to write this post since the passage of California’s Proposition 8 last Tuesday eliminating the right of same-sex couples to marry, but because I procrastinated, as usual, others, including Jeff, have beat me to the punch. Nevertheless, here’s my own take on the matter. Two issues that have often distressed me, and […]

anger. bitterness. despair.

These are largely the only emotions I’ve been able to feel since Tuesday night, with the exception of two fleeting moment of elation 1) when the election first was called for Obama, and 2) when Obama gave his speech. Even in the midst of those moments, though, I kept being reminded that the promises inherent […]

help defeat prop 8: it’s personal.

There is an unfair ballot proposition in California that, if passed, will take away my fundamental rights. This is really important to me. Will you help me defeat Proposition 8? Jeff and I have been together for five years. We love and support each other in the same way as families all over the country; […]