October 2006 Archives

An important point I noticed at the time but inadvertently left out of my earlier posting on the New Jersey same-sex marriage ruling: the decision, in its essence, was unanimous. All seven justices agreed that the committed relationships of the gay and lesbian citizens of New Jersey must be accorded the same legal rights and privileges as those of committed heterosexual couples who enter into marriage. Three of the seven concurring—including the retired chief justice—actually went further, stating that they believed that same-sex couples should, in fact, be able to be married, not only to get the rights and privileges but to be able to use the word “marriage” itself, recognizing the power of words. The state can still elect to just amend the marriage laws rather than enacting a separate-but-equal system of civil unions, but that one vote gives them the option of using the same slimy out that Vermont ultimately chose. Most important, of course, is that the gay and lesbian relationships of New Jersey will, at least, be treated fairly by the law; and people will call their own commitments whatever they will, even the majority opinion recognized their right to do so.

The major press is missing or glossing over this point, often, including even The New York Times which, as of the time of this post, still refers ambiguously to a 4-3 ruling granting these rights to same-sex couples. That makes it sound as though three justices would have ruled against granting those rights, when in fact those three wanted not only to grant those rights, but to go further. It is important—very important—that none of the seven justices would find that same-sex couples should not get the same rights as heterosexual couples.

Another reason this opinion has been so closely watched, and is so important outside New Jersey as well as within, is that New Jersey—unlike Massachusetts—has no laws prohibiting marriage (nor may they enact such laws to apply only to the same-sex variant) where such marriage wouldn’t be recognized in the applicant’s own state. The possibility, then—and the fear of the right—is that same-sex couples will come from all over the U.S. to be married in New Jersey, and then sue for recognition within their own states, challenging the constitutionality of the offensively misnamed federal Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA).

New Jersey’s highest court has ruled today that within 180 days the state legislature must provide same-sex couples with the rights and privileges accorded to heterosexual marriage, stopping short of requiring that it be called marriage, stating explicitly that the legislature could choose to enact civil unions instead. text of the opinion (note: PDF file)

I’m torn about this decision. I think it was a positive step (though I hate the “separate but equal” status embodied by the permissibility of civil unions in lieu of marriage), but I think the timing of it could have disastrous consequences that go well beyond the issue of gay marriage.

So now we can only wait and see if this announcement, so close to the elections, energizes social conservatives and evangelicals sufficiently to annul the Democrats’ opportunity to take control of the House and Senate. I’m betting this will probably tip the vote in Virginia over amending the state constitution to prohibit same-sex marriage solidly in favor of doing so, and could even take that Senate seat back out of play.

I hope I’m wrong and that everything else over which America is angry and fed-up with the Republicans won’t be outweighed by the native antipathy toward gay folk, but I’m so very nervous now about the elections.

My department at UCSF is hiring a graphic designer/web designer (official title: Principal Artist), so if you know of any graphic artists in the Bay Area looking for a permanent position, please pass this on. Or, if you know of good specialized sites/lists for reaching graphic artists, please let me know (we’re using Craigslist, of course, but most of the other specialty job sites I’ve used for filling positions in the past are focused more on technology than on design). Oh, our graphic team uses Macs, of course.

Job Summary: Incumbent will create original design for a variety of communication projects with special emphasis on the web; serve as web design expert on functionality, interaction, user interfaces, site architecture, navigation and related aspects of successful web site creation; program HTML as necessary and author and monitor adherence to job specifications, proposals, estimates, schedules and budget; and perform other duties as assigned. Position is Full-Time/Career.

Required Qualifications: Graduation from high school, two years of art training, and four years of experience, including at least one year in a supervisory capacity; or an equivalent combination of education and experience; and knowledge and abilities essential to the successful performance of the duties assigned to the position; experience in graphic design with specific training in web site creation; university design experience; proven record of producing sophisticated, original web and print design for a variety of clients and organizations; clear and substantiated understanding of branding principles, particularly as they relate to identity and design standards; expertise in MAC OSX applications including Quark, InDesign, Illustrator and Photoshop; expertise and understanding of HTML, CSS, DHTML, JavaScript; substantive experience in all conventional and digital printing processes.

Preferred Qualifications: BFA and minimum of 5 years experience in graphic design with specific training in web site creation.

In order to be considered for open positions at UCSF, you will need to submit your resume through our online application process. Once you complete the online application process, you will receive an email confirming that your submission has been received. Submitting your resume to UCSF opens the door to many immediate and ongoing job opportunities. Your resume will remain active in our applicant database and you will be able to update it as needed.

To submit your resume online go to:

http://ucsfhr.ucsf.edu/careers

Apply specifically to requisition 20428BR. Please note ad code BTW/20428BR in the ad code field in your applicant profile.

UCSF is a great place to work, with excellent benefits. This position is located at the University’s Laurel Heights campus on California Street, not far from the Presidio. The other designers on the team are really cool, and (or should that be a “but”?) you’d also be working fairly closely with me.

• The Universe on a String [nyt]
  My Harvard classmate Brian Greene with an opinion piece on the current state of string theory
  (tags: physics astronomy astrophysics quantum_theory string_theory einstein science brian_greene nyt)
• Hill Republicans Air Out the Closet - washingtonpost.com
  “Foley scandal points up acceptance and anxieties of gay staffers”; the hypocrisy of private “tolerance” by Repub lawmakers in contrast to their public gaybaiting and attacks
  (tags: gay politics republicans rightwing congress wapo)

• Affordable San Francisco [nyt]
  Finding an “affordable” hotel room in San Francisco
  (tags: sanfrancisco travel lodging nyt)
• For Meals Under $25, Go Where the Tourists Don’t [nyt]
  inexpensive and “eclectic” meals in San Francisco, off the beaten paths
  (tags: food sanfrancisco travel totry nyt)

• Remarks at the Swearing-in Ceremony of the Honorable Mark Dybul as U.S. Global AIDS Coordinator
  Secretary Rice actually welcomes the Ambassador’s same-sex partner and his partner’s mother, to whom she refers as the Ambassador’s “mother-in-law”, in the presence of Laura Bush.
  (tags: statedepartment condoleezzarice gay AIDS diplomacy hypocrisy)
• Page scandal exposes GOP’s gay identity crisis [usatoday]
  I think I’d use the word “hypocrisy” rather than “identify crisis”; they demonize us in public in order to pull the wool over the right’s eyes, but are happy to take gay dollars and sweat equity in private. And some gays actively promote this.
  (tags: republicans rightwing gay hypocrisy statedepartment condoleezzarice conservatism usatoday)

• Homosexuality and Child Sexual Abuse: Science, Religion, and the Slippery Slope
  the deliberate distortion of the scientific data by the religious right, and the sordid history of pedophilia sanctioned by the church until the modern era
  (tags: religion gay homophobia children hypocrisy rightwing bible christianity judaism science)

I’m not sure why I need to say anything since, as a friend once said to me when I expressed surprise that a co-worker didn’t know I was gay and had asked me about my wife (I assumed that everyone knew I was gay; after all, in 1988 at that organization I’d successfully spearheaded the fight for a non-discrimination clause that included sexual orientation, and had lobbied—albeit unsuccessfully, though they’ve since come around—for domestic partner recognition), “Yeah, you’re so gay, even dogs know it.” I remember coming up with alternative versions for a while afterwards: “You’re so gay, even dead people know.” “You’re so gay, even the furniture can tell.”

But since there still may be someone out there who doesn’t know, and because today is National Coming Out Day, yes, I’m “that way.” As a three-dollar-bill. Let’s all whisper now: “G-A-Y.”

Today at work the University hosted its 18th annual celebration of National Coming Out Day. “Celebration,” though, really is a vast overstatement for today’s event, which this year consisted of a panel discussion of four out campus leaders about their own coming-out process, particularly in the context of their work as faculty and administrators at a major university, and also in the wake of comments from a recent visiting lecturer who said that, given the suicide of former UC Santa Cruz Chancellor Denise Denton, an out lesbian, people in high positions in the UC system should “think long and hard before coming out.” One of the panelists rightly called “bullshit” on that statement. My intent is not to denigrate today’s session, which I enjoyed and found very interesting, and which I hope portends more opportunities for the campus GLBTI community to come together, but it wasn’t on par with what I’ve heard about more social and celebratory events from earlier years that took place in the courtyard with free food.

One particularly heartening thing about today’s panel discussion was the overwhelmingly positive experiences the panelists have had as out leaders at UCSF. Of only apparently four out administrators at the associate vice chancellor level or above throughout the entire UC system, we have two of them at UCSF, along with at least one assistant dean and the vice-chair of pediatrics. The student newspaper published a two-page spread of the University’s “Out List” of faculty, students and staff willing to go on the record as out in the University community, and the list included over 400 names. I think that’s pretty impressive, and speaks well to this university’s commitment to supporting its GLBTI community.

My own coming out occurred over a period of many years, starting in 1980 as a freshman at Harvard, where coming out was an easy process, especially as a member of the all-male Glee Club, which seemed to attract a preponderance of gay men. The environment at Harvard then was largely supportive, my homosexuality was pretty much a non-issue there, and I’ve continued to treat it as such in conversations with friends, colleagues and strangers (where and when it comes up); in fact, I’ve found that assuming and presenting it matter-of-factly as completely normal and unremarkable—which of course it is—people tend to react that way in return, or at least keep any negative reactions to themselves.

I implied above that coming out is not a singular act, but a process. While I’ve always been out with friends and colleagues since coming out to myself in 1980, coming out to my family was an altogether harder thing to do, and took significantly longer. My sister knew earliest—finding out by accident—and was the most homophobic for many years, though she’s since turned around 180 degrees and is a good friend and very supportive of me and my relationship with Jeff. Gradually I came out to cousins, aunts, uncles, etc., leaving mostly just my parents and grandparents. I never did come out to any of my grandparents before they died, and I came out to Mom and Dad only in 1992, which at the time seemed to have been much too long a wait, but now that it’s also nearly 15 years in the past, seems to be part and parcel of the same coming out process that started in earnest at least 26 years ago.

I’ve been very fortunate. My family and friends have been uniformly accepting, my parents adored my previous partner, Jay, and my Mom loves Jeff (I just regret he never got to meet my Dad, who died during our first months together). And it’s been a non-issue everywhere I’ve worked, even at the State Department. I decided years ago that any place at which being gay would be an issue for my employer would be one place I wouldn’t want to work anyway, so for me there’s just no reason not to be gayforward from the get-go.

So here and now, at UCSF, it seems almost anticlimactic to participate in National Coming Out Day; this environment is even more affirming for queer folk than any other place I’ve worked. I outed myself explictly though not gratuitously in my cover letter, and implicitly in my resume as well by noting both my involvement with the Unitarian-Universalist Association in leading anti-oppression workshops as well as the existence of this personal blog, easily enough found through a Google search.

Perhaps, then, I should think of it as noting one more year’s passage of time in a life of Being Out, just as a birthday is as much the recognition of another spin of an ongoing cycle as it is the celebration of one single day. Here’s to one more fabulous turn of the wheel, then.

Over at Rebel Prince, Jeff also talks about coming out and being out.

• Powers of Ten
  Jeff noted this morning that today is 10/10, and then he just pointed out to me that it’s also officially “Powers of 10” day. Cool. I’ve loved this Eames film since I first saw it when I was 10^1+(10*10^0)/2 years old
  (tags: eames art design mathematics science video visualization powersoften)
• A Spirit of Belonging, Inside and Out [nyt]
  “The occasion was the ninth annual Montana Two-Spirit Gathering, a weekend retreat here in northwestern part of the state for a few dozen American Indians who define themselves as embodying both male and female spirits.”
  (tags: firstpeople nativeamericans indians sexuality gay twospirit tribes gathering culture society belonging nyt)

Jeff’s already written about our fondue date on the 29th of September, at the Melting Pot restaurant in Larkspur, the occasion both of that location’s first anniversary and a fundraiser for UCSF Children’s Hospital. I’d never before eaten at a Melting Pot, though I’d always wanted to, so for a good cause we made it happen. We really splurged, going for the multi-course (cheese fondue, salad, entree fondue, and chocolate fondue) prix fixe “Big Night Out” special, priced by the couple.

We started with the gran queso cheese fondue, with apples, bread and vegetables for dipping. This was followed by the salad course—caesar for Jeff, and strawberry almond for me. Next was the “Fondue Feast” entree, in a coq au vin cooking sauce; we had filet milon medallions, teriyaki steak, black tiger shrimp, citrus-marinated pord tenderloin, breast of chicken, and large vegetable ravioli. After a resting period to let some of that feast digest, we finished with a dark chocolate, caramel and pecan fondue flambe, with fruit, brownies, marshmallows and cheesecake to dip. Heaven.

We had a wonderful, romantic, langorous experience, ably watched over by our server, Michelle (funny, incredibly personable and a near dead-ringer for actress Camryn Manheim), in a rather exotic setting: the building, a converted brick “kiln,” had labyrinthine hobbit-home corridors, curved brick walls that felt like the caves of a winery (you can see this effect in the photo on the Larkspur location web site), and one wing, where we were seated, featured “lover’s lane,” a corridor of cozy two-person booths tucked against each other in ways that provided optimal privacy for each. It was a near perfect evening, and the evening drive back into the city across the Golden Gate Bridge was lovely; I really do enjoy going up to Marin.

• The Long Zoom [nyt]
  “But even Wright hasn’t tried to simulate an entire universe before.” I’m so looking forward to this game.
  (tags: gaming design gamedesign willwright spore creativity sims nyt)
• Eight Rooms, Well, Nine, but That’s Their Secret [nyt]
  oh, it would be so cool to have a secret room
  (tags: architecture cool culture design home housing privacy fun nyt)

• listpic
  a cool way to browse craigslist by thumbnails of the photos within the postings [via sf apartment therapy]
  (tags: cool craigslist mashup shopping photography web sfapartmenttherapy images visualization)

• The forever family / Finally home: A white gay couple wanting a family. Five children of color needing a home. A San Francisco church seeking a minister. Done. [sf chronicle]
  and this helps explain why even though I’m an atheist, I’m also a Unitarian Universalist; great story, lots of pictures, and a long video about this unique family
  (tags: family gay unitarian-universalism sanfrancisco children adoption sfgate)

On September 20, as previously reported, Jeff and I went to a presentation in conjuction with the release of a book about Westlake, and were invited to a party at the author’s house on Saturday the 30th.

A bit trepidatiously (Jeff and I both can be a bit shy in large groups of strangers), we arrived at the party to be heartily greeted at the door by Rob, who remembered our names and immediately took us in hand to meet a few of their friends, introducing us to them as “our new friends.”

We had a wonderful time, and met some really fantastic people, many of them fellow Westlake denizens. We met Michael Nava, lawyer and author of the wonderful Henry Rios mysteries from the 80s and 90s, and his partner, George. And George introduced us to a neighbor of theirs, saying “I think the two of you even work for the same company.” Seeing the puzzled look on my face—I don’t tend to think of the university as a “company”—he followed up, “UCSF, right?” I nodded, “yes,” and he noted that the neighbor works at UCSF too.

I asked Richard—the fellow UCSF employee—which campus he works at (we have more than a half-dozen locations around the city, as well as a program in Fresno). It turns out that he not only works for the same university (and as my co-workers today reminded me, that’s not all that unusual given that UCSF has 19,000 employees and is the second largest employer in San Francisco), but at the same location, in the same building, in the suite across the hall from my own! We’ve already made plans to have lunch together on Friday.

He also gave me some advice about commuting, which I tried out this morning, and it’s a wonderful change. It doesn’t shave a whole lot of time off of the commute—maybe reducing it from 30 minutes to 25, perhaps a little less once I become more familiar with it—but even if it were exactly the same amount of time it would still be preferable, because it involves driving down Skyline Drive and then up the Great Highway, paralleling the Pacific Ocean only a couple dozen meters away, for about half of my ten-mile one-way commute; and another portion of the remaining five miles is along Golden Gate Park. There’s something about starting one’s day driving along the ocean and through the trees that’s good for the psyche, and the trip home today was just incredible, with the sun just setting over the ocean, bathing everything in a rosy gold aura. Surfers in their wet suits were climbing into their jeeps, men in shorts were jogging along the boardwalk, couples were walking hand in hand on the sand. It was a really nice way to ground myself again after a long crazy-busy day at work.

We ended up staying very late at the party, not leaving until around 2 am; we started to leave several times before that, probably beginning as early as 11 pm, but we kept getting brought back into conversation with Rob. I really like both him and Espie, and all their friends we met, and I feel like we’ve made some great new connections here in Westlake.