This morning the alarm clock woke me from a series of dreams I was having in which old classic TV shows were somehow skewed. I can’t recall the specifics of the other shows about which I was dreaming–I do remember that they included The Flintstones, which I think had some sort of Queer Eye crossover with Fred being made over by the Fab Five, and Bewitched, among others–but the last one I’d been dreaming of had featured Marlo Thomas as That Jeannie, with the independent, feminist-minded and sensibly dressed Jeannie Marie–who lived in a hatbox rather than a bottle–referring to Major Donald Nelson as “Mister” rather than “Master,” and refusing to use her powers to conjure up meals–with a “flip” of her hairdo–or blink the house clean.

I had dreamed a new theme song as well, though by the time the snooze button went off the second time, I could no longer recall the words to it.